Deja vu

Looks a lot like the AFC title game ... just one long drive after another.

Good teams make big long drives. Good teams stop drives quickly.

And, right now, there's no doubt who's the better team.

Impressive, gutty performance so far for the Colts.

Good news pour moi: if they get a TD here and go up 23-14, I can win one of my squares at the end of the third.

I could really use that $8.

If not Brian Greise, where's Kyle Orton?

We know that defense wins championships, but is that still true if the defense happens to be on the same team with a quarterback of Rex Grossman's ilk?

I've seen Trent Dilfer... and you, Sir, are no Trent Dilfer....

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

3rd Qtr. 9:02. Apparently Chicago Defensive Coordinator Ron Meeks lacks Marino's football acumen because they're not pressuring Manning. It's possible that at this point, the Colts haven't had a play that didn't go for positive yardage all day. The only hope for the Bears to slow Indy down is to cover the Colts side of the field with electronic "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" signs.

7:30. FG. Colts 19, Bears 14.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

Halftime. In an amazing development, Dan Marino shocks the world and completely reverses a century of conventional football wisdom by saying that what the Bears need to do in the second half is "put pressure on Peyton Manning." One wonders if the Bears have ever considered such a dramatic and revolutionary approach to defense.

Halftime show: Prince? How did that meeting in the NFL offices go? "We need someone current. Someone who'll interest the young kids, but will be wholesome enough to satisfy Grandma and Grandpa as well...Wait! I got just the guy!!!" I mean, if you're going to go for a perverse, twisted 80's leftover, why not go all the way? What, did Ron Jeremy not answer the phone? Why not just bring Michael Jackson back and surround him with kids again? Or let us get a look at Janet's other nipple. "Let's Go Crazy"..."Purple Rain"...a couple of cover tunes. I think we were all holding out hope he would've dusted off "Head" or "Jack U Off." No such luck though...I think "Up With People" did those numbers back in the day.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

1:30. Bryan Fletcher leaves the ball on the ground when Charles Tillman looks at him cross eyed. Chicago ball, and they still have life.

One play later. Not to be outdone, Grossman says "Oh, no you don't" and hands the ball right back. No one out stupids Rex Grossman when he sets his mind to it.

Several plays later: Vinatieri misses from 36 yards. The Sixth Seal is broken. The Nile turns to blood. The sun turns black as ashcloth.

Halftime: Colts 16, Bears 14. I retain my perfect record of futility in Super Bowl squares and all is returned to normal. The Apocalypse is put on hold.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

6:09 TD Domanick Rhodes. Colts 16, Bears 14. Jim Nance takes time out from plugging unwatchable CBS sitcoms and giving the Nobel Peace prize to the Head Coaches to actually say something interesting: The Colts have scored in every quarter in the post season. An absolutely amazing statistic for any team, but the Colts had to play on Wild Card weekend as well.

Anyone who watched the AFC Championship game (and why are you reading this if you didn't) knows that this is a critical posession for Chicago. Indy's offense is getting traction, and if the Bears don't answer with long drive, the only thing that will stop the Colts will be another tornado.

One first down. Punt. Rex Grossman is coming to the realization that he's still Rex Grossman.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

2nd Qtr. This has to be the most erotically disturbing series of ads in Super Bowl history. Two mechanics kissing each other in the middle of a candy bar, then pulling out their chest a hair. A movie about a male swim team. Letterman canoodling with Oprah. But at the start of the 2nd quarter, they finally reward football fans everywhere with Super Bowl legend GoDaddy.com girl. Being hosed down in a tank top, no less. And the genitalia of millions of American men retract from their body cavities.

Damn.... The kid can play..

We knew Prince had skills, but the great ones step it up in the Superbowl. Prince brought his A game and didn't let the elements dictate his effectiveness.

Amazing performance... And, as an added bonus, Prince is ALSO black..

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

4:34 Bears 14, Colts 6. Rex Grossman throws a ridiculous pass into quadruple coverage at the goal line to Mushin Muhammed. Four DBs were in the area, but were apparently terrified by the strange water falling from the sky, stand by and watch. Bill Polian immediately orders sprinklers be installed into the roof of the RCA dome.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

6:43- Hester fumbles the kickoff. Joseph Addai fumbles the first play from scrimmage. Both teams are treating the ball like it's an Improvised Explosive Device. To paraphrase the great Dan Jenkins, the ball is "slicker than cum on a gold tooth."

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

7:00 Manning to a wide open Reggie Wayne for 53 yd TD. How could Chicago possibly have left him so all alone? Bear Gryll has more people around him on "Man vs. Wild."

But unbelievably, Hunter Smith muffs the extra point. Somewhere, Tony Romo snuggles into the comfort of Carrie Underwood's soft, round bosom.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

Kickoff: New Super Bowl records:

• Fastest Touchdown
• Earliest appearence of "Manning Adversity Face"
• Russ Purnell, First Special Teams Coach Fired in Mid-kick return
  

Rapid Fire Fun and Excitement

I expect very little time to post on here. You blink during this game and someone coughs up the ball...

Couple of notes

1. Billy Joel's rendition of the Anthem was moving.. I had my doubts about him as the chosen performer but he came through in a big way.

2. Is there any more awesome sight than a flight of fighter jets soaring over the stadium at 500 mph?? My nipples got hard.. I know, too much information.

3. I doubt kicking to Hester to open the game was in the game plan. Was that Indy throwing caution to the wind? I get the impression they felt like they wanted to prove something. Everyone gave the Bears the edge on special teams. Well, it appears they did prove something.

I'm weepy ...

Few things make me shed a tear ... "Rudy," the national anthem, a perfectly crispy Buffalo wing, and when teams run out on to the field for the biggest game of their lives.

I have to admit, a I get a little choked up wondering what it might feel like.

And, is it just me, or does every team in the Super Bowl now come out all at once, introduced as a team. That's pretty neat.

OK, that's pretty much it for me ... JT's going to run most of the show here tonight.

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

Coin flip: Is there a surer sign that you're getting old than thinking "Geez, I'd do Lamar Hunt's widow" and you don't even have your beer goggles on yet?

Anthem: Vegas was offering prop bets on everything this year. The over/under on how many correct notes Billy Joel will hit was 12. If you had the "under," start counting your money. Peyton Manning better hope Marvin Harrison holds the ball better than Billy held "gallantly stream-ing."

Pregame II: It's an amazing feeling, seeing coaching history being made. For the first time in the history of the Super Bowl, we have a coach who's named after a "Gilligan's Island" castaway. Though Major League Baseball would like to point out that they're way ahead of the NFL in this area, as they've had 75 World Series managers who've answered to the name "Skipper."

Pregame: This is the first blog I've done for Cold, Hard Football Facts, and I'm going to try to attempt to post constant updates of random nonsense that occurs to me throughout the game. For example, I just tuned in to find...Cirque de Soleil?...some group of about 500 fresh-faced multicultural youth in elaborate costumes, flipping on trampolines, walking on stilts, and dancing around to either Salsa or Samba rhythms. Frankly it was hard to tell what it was over the sound of George Halas clawing at the top of his casket.

Charlie F***ing Sanders?

No offense to new Hall of Famer Charlie Sanders, who certainly played the game of football 1,000 times better than I ever did, but what in the name of Jim Thorpe is he doing in the Hall of Fame?

Sanders was a tight end who played for the Lions from 1968-1977. He was pretty good. Made seven Pro Bowls. But ...

• His best receiving season was 656 yards.
• He was on four winning teams.
• His only playoff game was a 5-0 loss.
• He scored 31 touchdowns in his entire career.

So ... how is this guy possibly a Hall of Famer? Because he was one of the two best tight ends in the NFC several times? That's not doing it for me.

Maybe the worst Hall of Famer ever, pending further investigation. I apologize for negativity directed toward Mr. Sanders, who would be a first-ballot "All Very Good Hall". I just don't understand how he qualifies for the real Canton.

Class of 2013

Speaking of future Hall of Famers, CHFF has been pretty rough on Brett Favre over the past couple of years. He was God awful in 2005, and just OK in 2006.

I wouldn't pretend to predict how Brett Favre would perform as the Green Bay Packers QB next year. Probably fairly well -- maybe a bit better than 2006, maybe a bit worse. He'll be a slightly below average QB in the NFL.

So, is he holding the Pack back?

I don't think so. If Aaron Rodgers is really looking great in training camp 07, the Pack wouldn't hesitate to give him the job -- i really believe that. But Rodgers has shown no such flashes of greatness. And so why not another year of Favre? It's not like it's impossible to find a good new QB in a pinch in the NFL.

Consider these new starters in 2006 --

• Steve McNair (regardless of his playoff flop, the Ravens went 13-3)
• Drew Brees NO
• Vince Young TEN
• Matt Leinart AZ
• Jay Cutler DEN
• Jon Kitna DET

And others who played great off the bench ...

• Damon Huard KC
• David Garrard JAX
• Jeff Garcia PHI
• Tony Romo DAL (has he stopped puking first thing every morning yet?)

That's 10 guys, and there were also breakthroughs like Alex Smith (SF), Jason Campbell (WAS), Phillip Rivers (SD), even JP Losman (BUF)

The point is this: there are plenty of good QBs left in the world -- you can build a winning team and find a QB to fit into it, it doesn't always have to be the other way around. It's not a one-way street.

It's official: HOF voters have their heads up their ass

The CHFF issued a challenge to the HOF voters over the past two years: vote in some fucking defensive players for once, will ya?

As CHFF readers know, offensive players have entered the Hall at a rate of nearly 2 to 1 over offensive players throughout the modern history of football, and at a remarkable 3-to-1 rate here in the Live Ball Era (since 1978).

We thought 2007 would be the year in which things would start to change. Sadly, amazingly, stupidly ... it's only gotten worse.

On Saturday, the HOF announced its six 2007 HOF inductuees. Their list includes FIVE offensive players and just ONE defensive player. Here's the list:

• DB Roger Werhli (Cardinals, 69-82)
• RB Thurman Thomas (Bills, Dolphins, 88-00)
• OL Bruce Matthews (Oilers, 83-01)
• WR Michael Irvin (simply does not belong ... and we'll crush anyone who dares challenge us on this) (Cowboys, 88-99)
• TE Charlie Sanders (Lions, 68-77)
• G Gene Hickerson (Browns, 58-73)

Like we said, that's 5-to-1 offensive players to defensive players.

For those of you keeping track at home, the count is now:

• 109 modern era offensive players in HOF
• 63 modern era defensive players in HOF
• That's 1.7 offensive players for every one defensive player in modern history (i.e., in two-platoon era)

Among Live Ball Era players, the count is now:

• 19 offensive players
• 6 defensive players
• That's 3.2 offensive players for every one defensive player

You tell us the HOF voters don't have their heads up their ass.

We wrote to SI's Peter King, a HOF voter, about this back in November, when the semifinalists were announced. His response:

"Good points. I will consider them. This has come up on several occasions. I'm in the Tippett camp." - Peter King

Apparently, King in the boys didn't consider things long enough. Otherwise, they would not have fucked up so royally and sent five offensive players to Canton and just one defensive player. It's unacceptable to anyone who takes football seriously.

Tippett, of course, is the former NE Patriots OLB whose stats compare farely well against those of Lawrence Taylor, the man who set the standard for the position, and one of just a handful of defenders we mentioned who obviously deserve consideration for the HOF (all of our defenders absolutely deserve to be in the HOF ahead of Irvin).

Let's just put it this way: relative to the standards set by the greatest players at their respective positions, Tippett deserves HOF consideration long before Michael Irvin. It's not even a question that AT is more deserving than Irvin.

Plus, AT hasn't been busted like 203 times for various drug offenses like Irvin.

See the full story on the idiocy here.

Oh-no!

I pick up my Starbucks coffee this morning and on the side of it is a bit of philosophy from ... Apollo Ohno? The speed skater?

Whatsammata? Paris Hilton wasn't available?

Amazing coincidences

A man named Pong Unitas played two games for Washington in 1921. He was a 180-pound guard, which is pretty good sized for Pop Warner. That's not him at the right, but I bet he had similar slacks.

Anyway, Pong Unitas is not in the Hall of Fame, but Colts great Johnny Unitas is. They are the only two Unitases to play in the NFL.

The coincidence?

Pong Unitas died on October 28, 1972 -- in Baltimore. Five weeks later, on December 3, 1972, Unitas played his last game for the Colts in Baltimore and was traded to the Chargers.

25 days later, Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri was born ...

In Baltimore!

No, I'm shitting you, Vinatieri was born in Yankton, South Dakota.

But still ... insert spooky music here.