Is Iron Mike Ditka a pussy?

I love Mike Ditka ...

He was one of the great tight ends in history. He won a championship as a player and as a coach. He nearly made the Cold, Hard Football Facts All-Time 11.

So why is Iron Mike’s name affiliated with the biggest pussy thing I've ever read?

Here’s the story:

I've been trying to reach the publicist at Ditka’s Restaurant in Chicago to get a neat recipe for Sunday ... it could make a great story for the CHFF that we can share with you, and maybe even for my other world at the Boston Herald. I haven’t heard back ... screw it then ... so I did a quick Google search and came across this recipe below for “Mike Ditka’s Official Tailgater’s Pork Chops.”

It looked pretty easy and pretty decent: marinated chops you can grill up in a few minutes. But then I found this suggestion at the end of the recipe:

“Serve with a soft Merlot. If you prefer a white, try a chilled Sauvignon Blanc.”

Why not just write, “remove both testicles and join Vienna boy's chior."

Grilled pork chops go with beer ... most food goes with beer. Even the best wine, compared to beer, is harsh, alcoholic, acidid, high in alcohol and often filled with headache-causing sulfites.

Here's my suggestion: eat these pork chops with an icy pilsner (maybe Victory Prima Pils) or soft brown ale. You'll be glad you did.

People who suggest wine with food instead of beer are often pussies pretending to be sophisticated. I know they're not sophisticated, and now you do, too. If they had any sense of dignity, or the courage of their own culinary convictions, they'd recommend a good beer with dinner ... especially when the recipe purports to come from "Iron" Mike Ditka.

8 pork rib chops, 1-inch thick
4 cups orange juice
1 cup soy sauce
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/2 cup Dijon-style mustard
1/2 cup honey
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

In a mixing bowl, combine orange juice, soy sauce, garlic, mustard, honey and cayenne pepper. Mix together with a whisk. Pour over pork chops and marinate in the refrigerator for 12 to 24 hours.

Remove pork from marinade; discard marinade. Season pork with salt and pepper and grill for 10 to 12 minutes, turning once. Serves 8.