Saturday, May 19, 2007

Wine drinkers spit ...

File this under the "Painting with Broad Brush Strokes" category.

I spend a lot of time with serious foodies ... most are cool. And chefs are the coolest. They just like to eat and drink good stuff ... whatever it is. Almost all of them are pretty down to earth and just dig it when people love their food.

But wine people ... serious wine people (you know the type), almost all are pretentious d-bags. Which is one of the many reasons I like beer better ... beer people are definitely much cooler than wine people.

I witnessed Exhibit 4,789 the other night. I was going over a friend's house for dinner. He had spent the day slow-smoking ribs for his friends and family ... mother, siblings, kids, everyone (using our rib dry rub in the process, too). He asked me to bring over a bottle of chianti. So I go to the local "packy" (in Boston parlance) and check out the Italian wines. There's about six different chiantis in one area. I ask the manager, very innocenty, "are these all your chiantis?" Six seemed like slim pickings.

You would have thought I insulted his children.

"Are you kidding?," he said, all snot-nosed and pretentious like. "We have the best selection of chianti on the South Shore."

Serious dick-a-tude on this dude, like I'm some piece o' shit.

All I wanted was a bottle of wine, and wanted to know if there were other chiantis in the store. This guy cops a royal "I am better than all the little people" attitude.

I grabbed the first bottle on display and headed out, reminded of yet another reason why I (and the vast majority of Americans) don't drink wine: you find yourself surrounded by Grade A dickheads when you do.

Remember, wine drinkers spit. Beer drinkers swallow.

Who'd you rather hang out with?

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