Thursday, February 15, 2007

Da-na-na-Nah-nuh-Naaaaah ... Charge!

What coach wouldn't want to coach the San Diego Chargers?

Now, there are a few problems out there -- the Chargers were probably the second-most felonious team in the league last year, but the Bengals stole all their thunder.

Other than that, it's scary -- they've got the best offensive player in the league in LT and maybe the best defensive player too in Merriman. And they're both young

A coach would get to hire whoever he wanted (because there are no assistants left, basically), and you'd have to think that GM/dick A.J. Smith would make an effort to be nice.

Sick! I think a high school coach could conceivably win 10 games with this Charger team in 2007.

Here are five guys who should seriously consider this job.

1. John Madden. Wouldn't it be fun to see him on the sidelines, preferably in those tight old 70s shirts he used to wear? Bam!

2. Prince. Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to ... KICK SOME FUCKIN' ASS AN TAKE NAMES! Awwww, think I wanna da-ance.

3. Bill Clinton. Great leader. If he could get us to believe he didn't fuck Monica Lewinsky, he could get the Chargers to the playoffs.

4. My Aunt Alison. She's a hearty football fan, and even though she doesn't know who plays what position (except for QB), she'd give it a good try. Plus, free sideline access for me.

5. Terrell Owens.
Who wouldn't want to see T.O. as a player/coach? Yelling at himself, renaming the team "San Diego T.O.s," eventually killing a teammate/player. Good times.

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