Sunday, February 4, 2007

Live Commentary for Super Bowl XLI

Halftime. In an amazing development, Dan Marino shocks the world and completely reverses a century of conventional football wisdom by saying that what the Bears need to do in the second half is "put pressure on Peyton Manning." One wonders if the Bears have ever considered such a dramatic and revolutionary approach to defense.

Halftime show: Prince? How did that meeting in the NFL offices go? "We need someone current. Someone who'll interest the young kids, but will be wholesome enough to satisfy Grandma and Grandpa as well...Wait! I got just the guy!!!" I mean, if you're going to go for a perverse, twisted 80's leftover, why not go all the way? What, did Ron Jeremy not answer the phone? Why not just bring Michael Jackson back and surround him with kids again? Or let us get a look at Janet's other nipple. "Let's Go Crazy"..."Purple Rain"...a couple of cover tunes. I think we were all holding out hope he would've dusted off "Head" or "Jack U Off." No such luck though...I think "Up With People" did those numbers back in the day.

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